Whew. This week is finally coming to an end and I cannot wait. Let me tell you why I was struggling this week, and how I forced myself to refocus my energy.
Day job is crazy right now. Lots of projects due in the same couple weeks, emotions are high, and stress is stretching everyone’s limits. There were a few times this week where I really struggled to get through the day. I took breaks here and there, to just have a few minutes for some deep breathing. We all go through these moments in every job, those moments where you question yourself…what am I doing here? Should I find a new job? Should I speak to someone at work about how I’m feeling undervalued and unimportant?
Those moments are hard for me as well because my dream is to write full-time but no way am I able to do that right now. I need this day job, so my fantasy of telling people I quit and just leaving are not quite there yet. But when I’m struggling – whether that’s in a job, in life, or anything else – I step back and take a few moments to deep breathe and also visualize something happy. This can be reminding myself that I won’t be in this job forever, that one day I WILL be able to quit and pursue my dream full-time. I remind myself that I’m already working towards that dream. Even if I’m too emotionally exhausted to work on a book that night, I (hopefully) won’t be as exhausted tomorrow night, and I can continue on my quest. Sometimes I remind myself of something relaxing I have waiting for me at home (a book, crafting, art, even a fun game I can play on my phone, etc.). I also have some stress reducing techniques I do which help me (like prayer and meditation, among others) which I can’t always do at work, so I plan to do those once I get home for the day.
One of the resolutions I made this year was to push through these tough days and keep focusing on the positive aspects of my life. It’s SO easy to get dragged into the negative, especially when you have people around you who keep you there, or drag you down into it every time you pull yourself out. But I’m sticking to it. I might take some time to wallow and feel the negative feelings I have, but then I refocus and think about my goals, in particular these three things:
Here’s the situation I’m in that’s making me miserable. Describe the situation. What about it is making me feel bad? Is it someone? Is the place? If it’s work, is it the culture? Is it just the project I’m working on at the moment? I try to dive deep to the root of why it’s making me miserable.
Here’s the goal I want. Sometimes the hardest question. For me, writing full-time would be one of my end goals. But what are my goals for this particular job? What do I want to achieve with this position or even just the projects I’m working on? Once I figure some of these things out, and I have an end goal(s) in mind, it can help me focus my energies on what I really want and need in order to meet those goals.
Now which road can I take to lead me there? Sometimes the road will be short (e.g., If I can’t quit and don’t want a new job, what can I do at work to make me happier?). Sometimes the road will be long (e.g., If I stick it out at this job for a few more years, I could be in a comfortable position to write full-time). Other times, the road might seem never-ending (me right now!) but all roads change and shift and curve, just like life does.
Believe that the road will change, then work to change the road into what you want it to be. To put it another way:
Believe that the situation will change, then work to change the situation into what you want it to be.
Believe that the situation will change, then work to change the situation into what you want it to be.
Believe that the situation will change, then work to change the situation into what you want it to be.
Believe it, because it can happen and, with hard work, one day it WILL happen.
~xoxo Marianne
This is Post 11 of 100 as part of the #100DaysofMKAuthorLife.
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